"Healing the Trauma of Infidelity"
“Betrayal is our greatest fear…our darkest night. And now it’s arrived at your door and entered your life. Not invited, not deserved, but it’s here.”
From these opening words, this book will be your guide as you begin to put your life back together. It will help you weather the storm and regain your balance.
With trust destroyed and the foundation of your relationship shattered, this is a time of intense emotions. It’s also a time for crucial decisions. As you work through the chapters, they will help you regulate and express your emotions, think clearly and evaluate your options with wisdom. There’s a lot on the line.
If your decision is to stay together and try to rebuild your relationship, this book will help you and your partner work together to create a path to recovery. The approach and exercises presented are based on and adapted from the Gottman Trust Revival Method and their evidence-based “Atone-Attune-Attach” treatment model
(Gottman & Gottman 2017).
As you begin the journey, despite the hurt, anger and despair you might feel, just know that there is hope.
The way you respond to this crisis and handle this trauma, will set the foundation for the future that awaits you.
This book emerged from more than two decades of experience working with couples in distress.
While all relationships have moments of conflict and disconnection, the shock, pain and disorientation infidelity creates is uniquely traumatizing. Yes, the foundation of your bond, the trust you had with your partner, has been shattered … and it’s more than that.
Your partner has also turned to another person. The feeling that you’re not enough or that you’ve been replaced is overwhelming.
It’s confusing, disorienting and difficult to know what to do, where to begin. The process of dealing with the discovery, regaining your balance and moving forward is a challenging path to walk.
Then at an Attachment & Trauma Conference in Rome (2023), I made a presentation on the Gottman approach to treating infidelity to a large gathering of therapists. A few months later, New Harbinger Publications contacted me about writing a book about healing from infidelity. This book is a product of that conversation.
The Story Behind “Healing the Trauma of Infidelity” …
About me
I’m a Licensed Psychologist with more than 25 years’ experience working with couples. It’s been and remains my privilege to work with couples who come to my office in pain but also with the resolve to address their struggles and face the future with courage. Relationships aren’t easy. They’re not for the faint of heart. But they can be the source of our greatest joy and deepest meaning. I remain in awe of the human capacity to heal, reconnect and rebuild, even in the shadow of infidelity.
As a professional, I’ve been affiliated with the Gottman Institute (TGI) for more than two decades
and am a Senior Certified Gottman Couples Therapist and Clinical Trainer.
In addition to being an active member of TGI’s Speaker Bureau, I also serve as a consultant/mentor to U.S.,
as well as international therapists, seeking to become Certified Gottman Therapists.
Mentoring young therapists with sharp minds and open hearts is at the center of my training focus.
Since becoming a trainer for the Gottman Institute, I’ve also had the opportunity to present Gottman professional trainings throughout the U.S. and abroad. Here, training both experienced and new clinicians in the Gottman approach to couples’ work is my mission.
While working with the trauma of betrayal is challenging … it can also be rewarding.
In the best of cases, it illuminates a path to a more intimate connection.
SPECIALTIES
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Gottman Couples Therapy
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Recovery From Betrayal & Infidelity
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Creating Connection, Intimacy & Friendship
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Healthy Approaches to Conflict
PROFESSIONAL CREDENTIALS
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Senior Certified Gottman Couples Therapist
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Gottman Senior Trainer, Consultant & Video Reviewer
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Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy
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Member of the American Psychological Association (APA)
EDUCATION
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Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology, St. Louis University, 1978
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Pre-Doctoral Internship at Palo Alto Veteran’s Administration Hospital, 1977 – 1978 (Rotations: The Family Study Unit & the Department of Child Psychiatry at Stanford)
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Post-Doctoral Resident in Pediatric Psychology, Department of Medical Psychology, University of Oregon Health Sciences Center, 1978 – 1979
Contact me
Please send me a message!